Our days have been fairly uneventful, but I’ve had to deal with a lot of flesh lately. There is a spirit that has been slowly creeping up in this house, one of disrespect. Also, somewhere in our day-to-day interaction, we’ve forgotten that whole concept of “kind words are like honey”. I have prayed over it, we’ve spoken scriptures over it, and I’ve talked until I’m blue in the face (which, for a Black woman, isn’t easy!). I talked to my husband about what was happening, and I talked to God about it, realizing that I was a part of the problem. I had threatened to spank for a long enough time until my kids didn’t take me seriously, and even my toddler had begun to mock me (“I’m going to get my ruler!”, she would say). I repented in part for the laziness that wouldn’t allow me to stop what I was doing long enough to discipline correctly, and allowed the Holy Spirit to remind me that sparing the rod is spoiling the child. My father-in-law sums it up nicely: you make a child cry now or he’ll make you cry later. So today I had to move to a level of discipline that the kids hadn’t seen in a long time.
I have determined in my mind not to spank the kids the way I got spanked. I grew up in the get-your-own-switch era where we actually had to choose the rod of correction, so to speak. My mom’s idea of a spanking would have probably landed one or both of us in CPS-type counseling in this day and age, but it was effective; she didn’t have to apply that rod more than once over the same issue. Also, she was one of ten children, so I can only imagine that she applied the same intensity of discipline that she saw growing up. As for me, I believe in spanking, but I also believe that other forms of discipline can be equally effective, and I try to reserve spanking for the more severe offenses. This time, my own procrastination in doing what I needed to do was the offense.
Kudos to the kids—they took their punishment much better than I did at their age, and they were back to their normal selves. I would pout and sulk for hours! I reflected on another memory of my mom this evening, and she was again correct: it did hurt me more than it hurt them.
Thank you for the breath of fresh air – I needed to read your post. Isn't it amazing that the tone, the mood, the precedent in our home is so dependent on US as the mama??? Oh how I pray every day that God will go ahead of me with it all. I'm proud of you for "stepping up" with the discipline. That's what I need to do.
Blessings,
Lisa
You're hilarious! And boy do I SO understand what you're saying. I have suffered from laziness as well, and it sure does make the home unravel in more ways than one. This was a great quote: you make a child cry now or he’ll make you cry later. I'm gonna remember that one.
Blessings,
Keri
Thanks for stopping by my blog recently. It's been a while since I've been to yours and it is always encouraging. I didn't know Will Smith and his wife homeschool. That is so great!
I really like this post. It's so important for us to watch the attitudes of our children after they are corrected. Great job doing it so they had repented in ALL respects. The attitudes here require more correction than anything–mine as well as theirs :).
God bless.
I was just saying to day that my children aren't listening and they are challenging to much of what I say. I also said that I was going to stop threatening the rod and just use it. Thanks for reminding me about kind words being like honey. We going to learn that (especially my daughter).
It is easy to use threats, and sometimes we don't even realize how much we do that instead of the consistency that really works. Good for you for shaping yourself up in this area.
Carol