Divine Reversal, and Loving Our Family

My husband has seen God’s divine rehearsal on his job, and it has been mind-blowing to sit back and realize where God has brought him within one year.   I posted about his trial of faith here, and to look at his results now, you’d never believe that he went through what he went through such a short time ago.    The turn-around is nothing that we can attribute to anything except God; it seemingly happened overnight and my husband was totally unaware of how his numbers changed literally exponentially.   He is now in the hunt for a very big honor—an all-expense-paid trip to Hawaii in the spring of next year.    He is very excited about it, but I’ve said to him in all candor that I’d love for him to place just outside of being eligible for the trip, but still high enough to be recognized.    Everyone, including him, thinks my elevator quit going to the top.   For me, it’s an all-too-blatant reminder of one of the many ways that  homeschooling has impacted our family—I think for the good.   He and I have already begun talking about where the kids might stay if we indeed get to go.   For various reasons, we’re struggling with an option that we feel comfortable with, and that the kids would want to go and be able to enjoy themselves.   The bottom line for us is this: we love being together as a family.  The kids love to be around us, and we love to spend time with them, for them.   



My husband was speaking to another of his co-workers, a shoo-in for the trip, about the trip as this would be “Mr. Shoo-in’s” second time being honored in such manner.    As he talked about how elated he and his wife always are to break away from the kids, my husband was explaining our dilemma.   The coworker’s response was, “You mean you never take a vacation without your children?”   I never thought about it, but in truth, it’s been years since we’ve gone somewhere that we didn’t take them.   In fact, most of our trips have centered around them if the truth be told.   From the Grand Canyon after a year of earth science, to the trip to Myrtle Beach for the son’s dance competitions, to Fiesta Texas after they exceeded the Read to Succeed requirements, we’ve hit the road as a five-person unit for years now.  


Don’t get me wrong.    I do realize that couples need their personal time, and although our marriage survived many years of neglecting this area when our children were smaller, we will find time to steal away for some adult conversation and quiet time, even if it’s just down the street at the local Sonic.   With the 1950’s-like drive-up theme, I feel like a teenager out with my high school sweetheart sucking down fruit slushies in the car.   All I’m missing is a poodle skirt and bobbie socks (smile).   We also make sure that our time here is our own as well, making sure the kids don’t sleep in the middle too much.   He has stated that he’d love for us to take an extended weekend and do something as just the two of us, but he’s also said that this is a nice-to-have as opposed to something that the marriage desperately needs.


When people realize that we’re homeschoolers, one of the inevitable questions we get asked is something along the lines of, “How do you do it?” or we hear emphatic statements such as “I wouldn’t have the patience!”    My immediate reaction to that question is a very practical response: it’s not for everybody, I say.    You have to love being around your kids all day.   I go on to speak to what I anticipate as the other person’s response: many people will say they love being around their children because that’s what you’re supposed to say, right?   But when you see that yellow school bus ride by…

It’s not a pretty answer, it’s not the most “spiritual,” but inevitably it plants a seed in the listener’s ear: do you love being around your children all day?   And if not, why not?    I learned the semi-hard way that my mission as a homeschooler is not to convert every other parent to homeschooling; this is, without doubt, a calling.  But I struggle with how comfortable people are shoving their children off on others.   I struggle with how casually young mothers decide to have children, married or not, and then leave them for grandmothers and aunts to raise.   And on a separate, but related, topic, I’ll say this: I don’t care how much the media and the Republican party dresses up Sarah Palin to be what songstress Chaka Khan coined as “I’m Every Woman, It’s All in Me,” there are some realities to trying to run a state or a country and be a mother to 5 children, and especially one with special needs.    If there’s one lesson I’ve learned in increasingly stepping back from work, it is this: just because you have education, wit, and skill to complete a task doesn’t mean that you should be the one to complete it.   David possessed everything, including desire, to build God’s temple, but he was told by God that Solomon would be the one to do it.   (Yes, though I began with Huckabee like many of you,  I am, after much prayer, going to vote for Obama and Biden, with reasons that extend far above and beyond the fact that Obama and I are both African-American, and if it costs me all of my blog friends and followers, this will be my private, yet public, journal).   I digress, but I’m so weary of seeing e-mail after e-mail on this topic, and I felt the need to say something about it somewhere.


Even more recently, my husband talked to another co-worker, a female in this instance, who’d just come back to work after the birth of her second child.    She is excited to be back.    Her husband took maternity leave from his job to keep the children (2 years old and a newborn), and the co-worker locked her door so as to sequester herself from both the children and the husband’s desperate cries of, “What do I do now?”   She happily told my husband of this new freedom, declaring that she is definitely not a stay-at-home mom.


So my husband might have been a bit shocked in the moment and embarrassed to answer this question readily (no offense and I love you, dearest, should you read this), but I say flat-footed that no, we don’t take vacations without our kids.  And guess what?   We love it that way.

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9 thoughts on “Divine Reversal, and Loving Our Family

  1. THANK YOU! Your response was so well stated. I have struggled with this and so my post was not for those who support Obama, there was a time when I was one of them. He was my Darfur candidate. I think he lost me when he became a Middle Class President. The Post was for those that are extremely pro-life and voting for candidates that cannot win. I was up in the air for a long Time. But this one piece of legislation well, it makes it so Roe v Wade can never be over turned. It isn't the normal back and forth Dem./ Rep. who is going to pay for whose abortion stuff. And I just need to make sure they knew this was out there.

    I live in Calfornia, my state will be an Obama State. Seems I have always lived in a state where I am the wrong color.

    Every post I have written here or on THL has been Obama/McCain Nuetral for the most part, trying to keep the peace. What matters is everyone votes. Yes even those that vote for non-electable candidate

    I will prayerfully support fully which ever President our God gives us but I will mourn the loss if this bill gets signed.

    One week and everyone can go back to life as usual. hee hee!

    Because of Jesus, Bobbie

  2. My, my, my… indeed we must have been separated at birth!! 🙂 I just posted a politics-related post this morning because I'm just FED UP with the insinuations that you must vote one way or another if you're a Christian. I don't discuss who I vote for. It's personal and much prayer goes toward it. Anyway, I've already visited that soap box once today, so I'll go somewhere else… homeschooling.

    I know what you mean about homeschooling not being for everyone. I so completely agree!! I also agree that it is a calling. I don't understand why so many mothers WANT to be away from their children so much. I can understand an occasional hour or two to yourself, but daily??!! On the other hand, I've seen some of their children. LOL Okay, that wasn't nice. Anyway, you know the dilemma we've faced this year. Well, it's coming to an end soon. Let's just say, there is no peace in not living out your calling. Even my DH is certain that this was a mistake. More to come in my posts this week…

    I haven't read your blog in a while and I see that I missed a lot. I'll do better at staying in touch, my friend. Have a wonderful day!

  3. Hi,

    No worries about losing me as a bloggy friend. I already voted for Obama. In fact my whole family is voting for him regardless of their political background.
    Wow! why do so many people have children who really don't want to be around them? It is probably one of the things that saddens me the most about America. I seem to see it so often. I can't imagine being anywhere but where I am~ at home! I can understand why you don't want your husband to place for the vacation.
    I hope you got my email. I am really sorry it was so late.

  4. Hey girl! You sound like me on the vacation issue. A friend of mine recently invited me and my Mom to vacation with her in the mountains and she asked where I could leave my kids. I didn't want to be rude but I doubt I'll be going without them. I sometimes go places without my kids but this particular friend just seems to take it for granted that wherever we go the kids stay home! i want my kids to see the mountains too! I don't agree with your choice for president .I feel there are much worse things that could happen to the united states than getting a woman vice president. I vote for a man based on his platform and O'Bama's views and mine are opposed. I still value your friendship regardless of who you vote for and I hope you still feel the same about me.

    blessings to all! melissa

  5. What a challenge. Anyway. Being a SAHM isn't easy, as both you and I know, it sure is so much better than being at work and wishing you were with them, or getting home from work and hearing what you missed. Isn't it?

    Great post again.

  6. for taking the time to stop by and share the layered salad recipe. We will try it with the kids. A new thing always excites them, especially food 😉 he he.

    I love the way you put it in words. I, too, feel the same way about vacations and being with kids all the time… all our outings and vacation have pretty much revolved around the children. I am afraid it might be unbearably boring if they wont be around in trips. I can not remember the last time my hubby and I went away without kids tagging along. Seems like it has been forever.

    Blessing to you!

  7. I am so happy for you that God has blessed your husband's work. We have been in that "wait on God" place for over a year now. God has blessed us tremendously through it, and we're still waiting to see!

    Your trip to Natchez looked fun. You know, I grew up in MS, and I've never been there. My parents always traveled to Florida or here to the Smoky Mountains. I guess they weren't into history.

    I would have a very difficult time going to Hawaii without my children, too. James wanted to take me on a cruise a few years ago, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. We never went anywhere without them when they were little, with only a couple of exceptions. They never even had babysitters for a night out. In the last few years, we have taken a few weekend getaways and a couple of 5 day ones…but not that far away. Some of them were right here in our county.
    I love the top photo of the little princess on her beautiful mare!

  8. Thank you for this post so much.

    First of all, it has such "meat" to it. I've been homeschooling a very long time and I loved hearing your 'take' on answering people about homeschool. I have similar posts (in the way past) on my answer and I would like to share them with you. I'm going to have dig for them and come back with the post address.

    From reading what is in this post, and your comment to me, and your post that I left a comment on (your prayer with bobbie) I can truly sense within you a deep commitment and depth in your walk with Him. I am glad that you are talking about your vote for Obama. I'd love to have further dialogue on this as he is now our President and I want to see every good thing. I want to pray for him effectively. You have a whole lot more insight than I do on our new President. I love that you voted for other than his culture and genetic background. I hope you will share with me all the things that you see are good in him.

I'd love to hear your two cents!!